Since I write a blog about being a biblical woman, I though it would be important to chat about what femininity actually is. Feminism has not only high-jacked our understanding of what it means to be a woman, but has deprecated men to the extent that some of them don’t want to be men anymore and are“becoming” women.
I think Christian women are finally sobered by how far feminism has taken us. From being afraid to open doors, to stepping aside to let more “competent” women lead in the church, men have given way to the dominance of feminism. Who would blame them? What cultured man wants to be accused of being a chauvinist pig?
How do we respond to this tragedy and fight back to win our men? We do it by being the woman God created us to be. There is so much written already about Biblical womanhood by godly respected women, so I wanted to take a different approach. I asked several godly men I respect in my local church what they thought being feminine was.
I asked several men of various ages to write a short list describing the word feminine. Here are their answers.
Mr. Single 28: “Beautiful, loving and kind, loves children, follower, helper.”
Mr. Single 30: “Lady-like, beautiful, gentle, dresses or “girly” clothing.”
Mr. Married 36: “Soft (physically), not hardened like a man, pretty, tender, caring, maternal, homemaker”.
Mr. Married 40: “Beautiful, happy helpmate, thoughtfully modest.”
Mr. Married 63: “Caring, trustful, listener”.
Mr. Married 65: “Loving, motherly, counterpart, helper.”
I don’t know about you but, I was a little surprised by some of their answers. The dictionary says feminine is “having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with women, especially delicacy and prettiness.” I was expecting words like “pretty” and “beautiful,” but not “soft, gentle, motherly.” It was a good reminder to embrace 1 Peter’s instruction to have a gentle and quiet spirit.
Part of what makes a woman feminine is when she reflects God’s beauty; she is at rest within herself – not constantly worried or anxious. Women have the opportunity to behold and reflect the beauty of God in a way that men don’t. A woman who is quietly trusting in the Lord, no matter what is going on in her life, naturally exhibits the peace that is so attractive and precious in God’s sight.
While most respondents had one word on outer beauty (the younger men more, the elder men none) their definition was mostly comprised of character qualities. The two qualities men value in women were being caring and gentle. This includes having an empathetic, welcoming, accepting spirit or presence and being approachable. WOW. All women can be that! You do not need a gym membership, liposuction, plastic surgery, or perfect highlights to become any of those. I especially liked “soft-not hardened like a man.” No woman, especially after children, needs to work on that – just let nature take its course!
I’m not advocating “letting yourself go” in the name of being “soft”! My singles pastor told us, “Ladies, if the barn needs painting – paint it!” Being attractive was ONE item on the list, but it was only one. The next two characteristics were maternal or motherly, and being a helper or helpmate.
The feminists have fooled us (all of us, men and women) into thinking being a helper is degrading and unpalatable. But have you noticed how we are not surprised when we hear about the man who ran off with his secretary. Instead, we roll our eyes – that again? What exactly was happening there? Well, there she was, helping and assisting him– all the work-day long. Wait…that was Eve’s job description, right? Wasn’t that what she was made for? Yep. A man being attracted to and wanting a helper is God’s natural design.
By being a helper and serving the men in your spheres of influence, you are not only demonstrating and living out your womanhood, you are also promoting biblical manhood. When men are treated like leaders they start acting like leaders. However, they can’t do it on their own; they need the support of their wives and if single, other godly women in the church.
As much as our culture is pushing a gender neutral agenda, or even advocating changing your gender, you can’t completely eradicate what is in your DNA. God made women to be feminine. And men want a feminine woman. It’s inherently what makes us who we are as women. Christian women especially need to reclaim femininity and show the world it is valued, necessary, and desirable ! Being feminine, not prissy, is very winsome-to both men and women!
Please share: What do you think being feminine is? Why is that important today?